third day..

as every woman in a specific age, every month i have "my days" which means that I suffer. and I suffer a lot. First two days i can't get out from my bed and the only thought I have is to die.. fast... but then third day arrives, and let me tell you: this is my favourite day of the month.

I cry.

I feel small and miserable. I am aware of my belly but most of all I can officially take my teddy and cry as much as I want. Yesterday was my day. My boyfriend had one of his "leave-me-alone" days so I switched off my phone and left to my friend to watch latest episodes of Desperate Housewives. I dont need much to cry, sometimes simple commercial is enough so, of course, I ended up sobbing over poor Mike's destiny and all that. I went home and I still felt that I didnt cry enough. The thing with me crying that day is that later I dont have to express my feelings that much. I can smile and be supportive. I can deal with other's problems and all that. But first I need my cry out day.. and this day arrived. So I was crying and crying, I was listening to Grzegorz Turnau, I was listening to old music from the times when I used to be in a radio.. and I was crying.. as usual I paid for that by sleepless night but it's always worth it after all.. I should wake up fourth day, after two hours of painful sleep and be ready to deal with coming week... but...

but today guy who was supposed to come and fix my shower doors didnt come. and he treated me as a huge idiot. and that was too much.. my third day is still going on and Im afraid it will go on until thursday when I will finally go home.